After almost 24 years of marriage my husband and I no longer sleep in the same bed, we don't even sleep under the same roof and he claims he is sleeping better than he has in years. That's a tough pill to swallow.Even though we have been dancing this dance for years to see and hear the song come to an end is terribly sad and heart wrenching. I don't know why I feel this way when it's been years since our souls have connected. I realized how lonely I have been inside this commitment when I started stepping outside myself and watching how other couples interact with each other. We have no smiles, no words, no touch. I tell myself that this is no way to live and I have my strong moments but today just doesn't seem to be one of those days. I feel empty, useless and unloved and he, well he just goes on like nothing has changed. I guess for him nothing has.
I wish there was some way to fast forward time for you so you can see that on the other end you will be ok. you aren't useless or unloved. I know that our relationship isn't the strongest or the best son\daughter...but i love you. with everything i've been through I'd do it all again just so you felt like you were important. The other side...wherever that is or whatever it is will be better.
ReplyDeleteYou do deserve better. This is all temporary. It will pass and each day will become easier. You can't fix something or someone that doesn't want to be fixed. let him be bitter. if he doesn't want to work on him...if hes going crazy because of the business or town...you can't help if he doesn't want it. hold your head high and walk proud. Take off the glasses and see the world for what it really is.
You too will soon start sleeping better then you have in years. The colors will be brighter, the smells will be tastier, and sounds louder. This sucks. I know. and to be honest it will be worse before it gets better. But keep your head above water and tread. before you know it, you'll be able to stand and walk. And when you are completely on shore, you'll look back and be impressed with what you just accomplished, be more focused and have a more focused outlook on life and what YOU want.